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Main | 2006 »

Another Bad Memory

Relationship with boys changes friendship between girls. I don’t know how it works for boys, but fell in love with a boy, no matter for me or my closest friends, changed our girly relationship in high school. I was in 10th grade when my cosine asked my best friend out. They used to date for more than two years. Since they became friends, our main topic was turned to him: his habits, his family, and his friends. My friend completely changed. She didn’t want to hang out with anyone else anymore; however she was one of the most brilliant students in the school, she didn’t interest in school lessons anymore. Unfortunately it became one of my most sadness moment of school when they broke up and my friend decided not talk to me any more. My only fault was being her boyfriend cosine. I still remember those horiable times and how it changed everything for me. I changed my school and my friends categorizes. I never find a girl friend like her and it became one of my whole life tragedies.

School’s Experiences

Growing in Iran, as an Islamic country with harsh rules for division between men and women, gave me different experiences in school compare to kids in free countries. Schools are separate, based on gender, and there is no way for boys and girls to know each other through school. Even kindergartens are separate in some small and religious cities. Having boyfriend or girlfriend is an unforgivable guiltiness and the by the rules, the guilty person should expelled form school. Is it possible to control and limit one of human’s strongest instincts by rules? By my experiences, the answer is no. We all found ways to break the rules and some of my most exciting experience are about this disobedience during my high school.

It is an unwritten rule that guys should come to girls and ask them out. When girls like someone, they are required to show this love in indirect ways. When both girls and boys are in the same place or same school it is easy. Girls can look at them and smile or be nice in class activities or even cooperate for cheating in tests. In my high school’s time, street was the only place where we had chance to meet someone or maybe get a date. The norm of the society wanted girls to be silent and waiting, but what happen if a girl feels a burning love on her heart and she wants to show it? Imagine a 15 years old girl who wishes his prince Charming on her arms , actually more to show to her friends, and there is no way for her to show her love indirectly. Ok. Here is my most embarrassing time ever. He was a handsome guy and I didn’t .know how old is he. I used to see him every day in my way coming back home. I though he is my everlasting love and I cant live without him. In the other side, I wanted to show my Brad Pitt to my friends and held his hand in front of them. I remember one day I had stopped on his daily way and when he came I said: “Hi. My name is Leva and I want to talk to you.” “For what?” he asked. I smiled and said: “Maybe we start something together.” He had stared on my eyes and said: “I have wife and a son. Do you still want to start something with me?” I escaped from the scene and changed my way to come back home for ever.

In my job, as an employment service specialist, I am a trainer for a county’s program called “ Job Club/ Job Search”. Job Club classroom workshop are held six hours a day five days a week one week and up to three weeks for search. This workshop is for clients who receive benefits – cash aid, food stamps, and free medical service- from department of human assistant. They basically learn about: Job search methods, Resume development, Job interviewing skills, Employment requirement and expectation, Self-esteem, image, motivation, and self-confidence, Life skills, anger management ….

I have a new workshop every month and because our organization offers 17 different languages, we are one of two Language Job Club classes In the county. (I don’t speak 17 languages! I speak Farsi and English. I used to know a little bit Turkish, which I forget now. If I need translators, my coworkers help me)

I like dealing with people from different countries and cultures. I try to have some fun stuff in the class too. I put a big map on the wall and ask every one to put his or her name on their homeland country. I try to have, at least, two potluck lunches and ask them to bring their ethnic foods.. Some time it’s exhausting and not funny at all to force them find a job, because ninety percent of them are not willing to move their butts and do anything. (Imagine you have a free money coming to your pocket every months and it’s enough for your life. Do you bother yourself to find a job and stay out eight hours a day?)

(Be continued)

Small Penis Issue

One my friend, who is a single mom with seven year old beautiful daughter, came to my home last night to get a book. Her daughter was with her. I hugged her and said: “So Brianna, I heard your school started last week. How is that going?”
She had shaken her shoulder and answered “Every thing is fine but I don’t like Tommy” “Who is Tommy” I asked and she answered me: “He is a stupid guy with small penis issue!”
Her mom and I were shocked. We used the phrase “ small penis issue” when we talk about our former boss – who got fired by our organization’s board three months ago- and she has no idea when Brianna heard that word.
Ok! We have to be more polite or at least more careful when a smart kid is around.

Gender discrimination

Can we call this case a gender discrimination but against the men this time? I don’t believe so. However, in our argues in Minority Groups in the US, majority of the class called it a gender discrimination. I think it is more about paper work and it may happen for every one, but if we wear gender glass we will see every single case as a gender based case.

On October 28, 2005, near the end of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, four men, including David Woods of Sacramento and his 21-year-old daughter, Maegan Black, will file a class-action lawsuit in Sacramento against the State of California and two state-funded domestic violence programs (WEAVE in Sacramento, and DVSAC in Grass Valley), seeking to end the denial of services to men and their children.
The men were denied state-funded services based solely on their gender. Maegen Black says she was harmed by WEAVE's denial of services to her father, having to witness years of violence by her mother against her father that could have been avoided if her father received the services he needed. Her mother, Ruth, has undergone counseling and now freely admits she physically abused David in front of Maegan for years, even at knifepoint. Ruth supports the lawsuit, stating that her violence could recur anytime and that David will have no place to turn.
Children like Maegen are often the greatest victims in these cases,
according to attorney Marc E. Angelucci, who is representing the plaintiffs.
“When victims don't receive the help they need, the violence often
escalates, and children who witness it can be emotionally damaged." Studies show the chances a woman will abuse her child increase every time she sees her mother assault her father. Do Child Abuse and Interparental Violence Lead to Adulthood Violence? What do you think?

My Dear President

I came to work this morning and one of my coworkers – who I had an argue with last week about prisoners- told me: “Thanks God! He hasn’t done anything yet”.
“Who is he” I said. “Iran’s President” he answered.
I thought what the hell Ahmadinejad said again. But politely asked him: “What did he say?”
“He said he is going to do something this morning. He meant today’s morning. Maybe he wants to start World War III. Or maybe he is going to attack us or Israel”.
I sigh and try to be calm. “No worries. He just talks a lot. Never pay attention to his speech or any of Iranians governors. They talks without thinking. And two hours later ignores even their speech. So he is in his office now and completely forgot about his speech last night”.
He had shaken his head and went back to his cubic. Dam ass! I hate start my day talking about politic issue especially about Iran.

( Did he really say something last night?)

Hi, I am here.

Oh! Finally! It is going to be my first English post in a crazy day. Just ten minutes ago my professor e-mailed me that I am to far in waiting list for my Sociology of Aging class and there is no way for her to add me. So I have to find another class works with my busy schedule.

By the way, my name is Leva and it means “ Flag”. It is an Arabic name and also means army’s leader.
In my first Farsi past, I explain why I called my weblog “ Baloot” or” Acorn”. I live in a city full of Oak tree – like other cities in the US- and our suburb name is Fair Oaks. Our Street name is Oak and there is a big Oak tree in front of my bedroom and also in my favorite spot in the college. So, is there any other name could be possible?

Oh, also my laptop name is Baloot too and I know her as my daughter.
Talking to my designer, Eyes Wide Shut,( hey, thanks body) we decided to call Baloot as my daughter and Acorn as my son. I am not sure this category works or not yet. We will see.

If you have English weblog and wants me to add your link please let me know, however, I am lazy in English writing and normally use Farsi to express my feeling.

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